Hmm. My power?

The ability to be on my computer FOR MORE THAN 10 MINUTES WITHOUT THE INTERNET BEING SUCKED OUT FROM UNDER MY BLOODY FINGERTIPS.

Nah.

My power... Hmm... I already have the power of empathy, the ability to change my body to be whatever I want (yeah, I'm not this sexy naturally), to be funny, and to think really hard. They're all pretty good, and rather unique. I think I could be in the X-Men.

Hmm... Supernatural power? The ability to eliminate depression. Not pain, sadness, anger, frustration or anything, just depression. The chemical kind. Worldwide. That'd be good.

I might like to fly. I think I'd really just like to be able to be free from the bindings of society. It stinks that I can't see all my friends, and that I can't see everyone as much as I'd like.

Take a hammer to time, and shatter it!
posted by Ryan at 7:55 PM though the day is young, as are we.

Hey guys welcome to laptop-plugged-in-New York-Hotel-Room Bloggin!
I like human bodies as well. Especially with that extra coat of flab or muscle. I love my flab. If it weren't for the need to rest at one pants size, I'd be a blimp!
Special powerz..Telekenisis. Wished for that for a long time. Mainly inspired by Carrie and Firestarter. That's so much control..o my lord. Could I help people with that? Sure. I could probably clot blood or reatach bones with my mind. And at the same time I could levitate, air write on chalkboards, and light candles while saving money on matches.
Nightcrawler would be pretty awesome, but if I had telekinises I'd probably just float everywhere I went. Freak a couple hundred people out.

posted by Hannah at 10:29 AM though the day is young, as are we.

PS: Ryan, no, I don't know that kind of flaccid you get just after ejaculation. ;P

PPS: Sage, chizzill with the insecurity/defensiveness thing. No one thinks you're gay. I think women's bodies are beautiful [I'd rather shag a man's body, but I still appreciate the beauty of my body], and I'm not lesbian. IT'S OKAY. Oh, and re: objectification. I don't think it's the objectification of bodies that irks people. Bodies are, yes, objects. But people are more than bodies: objectification is focusing solely on their bodies and not on their other, more abstract traits.
posted by kate at 7:05 PM though the day is young, as are we.

PSST, SAGEY WAGEY. NIGHTCRAWLER'S SPECIAL POWER IS NOT SPEAKING GERMAN. HE COMES AUS DEUTSCHLAND. KTHXBAI.

I definitely think Mystique has the ultimate power. It's really scary, because she could be ANYONE. ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111one Mmmyeah. Rogue's just sucks. Ice and fire are too limited. Healing powers would be cool, but I'm really not injured that often. Hm, would healing powers work on cramps? I could definitely dig that.

Although if I could have any power [stepping outside the X-men realm now] I would choose time travel in a flash. Maybe I am a complete dork, but HISTORY. SO COOL. I would love to be able to visit the past. If someone was like HEY DO YOU WANT A SUPER POWER? I would definitely say time travel. Flying would be my second choice, probably. I love swings & roller coasters and stuff that imitates the feeling of flying. Air wooshing past you, being really high up and not having to worry about falling, and all that. So much fun. Of course the secret to flying is falling and not hitting the ground. ;) But there's also the whole Icarus thing. That would suck. But I'm not that stupid, I think I could handle not flying so far up that I can't breathe or whatnot [because you really couldn't fly close enough to the sun for it to melt your wings or whatever because it's REALLY FAR AWAY, SIR GREEK MYTHOLOGY.]

And then there's immortality, which I definitely would like, but it might get boring and suck a la Tuck Everlasting.

Oh, well, it's all hypothetical anyway. Unless Sage has figured out some way to give people superpowers. ;P
posted by kate at 7:01 PM though the day is young, as are we.

Okay speaking or genitalia... What X-Man power would you want if you could have anyone? You can be like Wolverine and have the enhanced sense of smell/healing powers/super-human hearing/adamantium claws. Though the claws aren't natural. Though personally I would like to be like Nightcrawler. Speak german and have blue hair... I mean you GOTTA have the blue hair. But yeah that teleportation bit... SWEEET!!! That would be so neat. Powers aren't limited to sex. (Pun intended) I wanna know. I'ma be out *poof*
posted by Sagé at 6:16 PM though the day is young, as are we.

Penises are ugly, except during specific conditions:

1. Flaccid, but not so flaccid that it's at its smallest. You know, the kind of flaccid you get just after ejaculation.
2. A distance of at least 2 meters (6.6 feet).
3. It's mine.

So, yeah. It's pretty good then. I mean, I like it. It serves me well.

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND... NO IT DOESN'T! GOD DAMN YOU, PENIS!

Oh, penis, I could hardly stay mad at you...

Why the hell am I typing all of this?

Anyhow, breasts are good. Not to grip, however. Certainly not. They are for stroking, resting your head on, or playing with action figures on. I mean, they're good hills.

Spiderman: "¡I claim this gelatinous mountain for SPAIN!"

Leonardo (The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle): "Yeah, well I claim this gelatinous mountain for FRANCE!"

Spiderman: "¡Jajajajaja!

Leonardo: "Hon hon hon hon hon!" <-you know how French laugh in their stereotypes; remember, they're too lazy to pronounce their final letter]

Spiderman: "¡Oh, no! ¡The mountain is moving!"

Leonardo: "Mine, as well!"

[in unison] ¡AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [they fall off and die. how tragic.]

So, yeah. That's why I like breasts.

*This could be considered objectifying. Yeah, go tell someone who gives a shit.
posted by Ryan at 6:11 PM though the day is young, as are we.

I like vaginas. Cunt is a dirty word in my opinion. Melissa you wrote box twice. and something else but I can't find it right now. Anyway. I like them. I like the way they look. I like the sex organs. I like penises too. Not that I'm gay, I just think they are shaped very interestingly like. Like at the head it goes in and then goes back out again... I don't know I think you would have to be looking at a penis or a picture of one to see. But yeah, vaginas are cool, they are so mysterious. Penises are cool 'cause of their shape. Whatever. I like boobs too. They are nice. So soft. You have to be gentle with them... like a baby. And the nipple on the end... I don't know. I just like the human body. Male or female. *Note: This has absolutly nothing to do with my sexual preference. I just look at them as a piece of art. And I think that that would be considered to be objectifying women, but I'm also objectifying men too. What are bodies other than objects? Vessels? I don't know. Whatever.
posted by Sagé at 3:44 PM though the day is young, as are we.

Vaginas are really something that I'd like to take a flashlight to. I haven't really seen a good picture of one.
posted by Ryan at 9:13 PM though the day is young, as are we.

I never really had a connotation associated with cunt [I had a vague idea it was obscene, but I had never really heard anyone use it . . . sheltered much? me? nahhhh], so it was easy for me to reclaim the word. I love my cunt!

PS: If anyone ever has the opportunity to read Cunt, by Inga Muscio, DO IT! I know I have recommended it about a gazillion times before, but I heart it so much.
posted by kate at 5:28 PM though the day is young, as are we.

Vaginas are an odd subject. Never did a hole have so much substance! I personally think vagina, while rather decorative, takes too long to say. Cunt and pussy are rather jagged and nasty. Poontang rather strikes my fancy. It's got the long oo and it matches up with bOObs. Fool of a took. Prescision..of..language.. Snatch is the neutral word for it. The one no one uses so it doesn't quite have a tone to it. But if I were to call it anything, it would be a poontang.
I am quite busy myself, but the Abbies thing will work if I have to strangle it.
Does anyone wish to request anything special from my four-day excursion to New York? Playbill from 42nd street perhaps? Hotel Soap? Hotel Toilet Paper? Hotel Condom?
posted by Hannah at 3:49 PM though the day is young, as are we.

I think I'll clarify that last statement because I don't want jall thinking I'm a transvestite or a hermaphrodite or something. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's not true, and I sure do hate misleading people. >.> <.<

On the choice occasions popes and politicians directly refer to female genitalia, the term "vagina" is discreetly engaged.

If you will be so kind, say "vagina" out loud a few times. Strip away the meaning and listen solely to the phonetic sound. It resonates from the roof of your mouth.

A "vagina" could be an economy car:

"That's right, Wanda! Come within five hundred dollars of the actual sticker price, and you'll win this! A brand new Chrysler Vagina!"

Or a rodent:

"Next on Prairie Safari, you'll see a wily little silver-tailed vagina outwit a voracious pair of ospreys."

Say "cunt" out loud, again stripping away the meaning. The word resonates from the depths of your gut. It sounds like something you definitely don't want to tangle with in a drunken brawl in a dark alley.

A "cunt" could be a serious weather condition:

"Next on Nightline, an exclusive report on the devastation in Kansas when last night's thunder cunt, with winds exceeding 122 miles an hour, ripped through the state."

Or a monster truck:

"The City Arena is proud to present the Coors Crush 'Em Demolition Round-Up competition, where Randy Sam's Beast of Burden will challenge Mike Price's undefeated Raging Cunt in the 666 barrel jump."

Moving from phonetics to etymology, "vagina" originates from a word meaning sheath for a sword.

Ain't got no vagina.


Vagina doesn't merely originate from a word meaning sheath for a sword; vagina IS the Latin word for scabbard or sheath.

I have a cunt!
posted by kate at 7:02 PM though the day is young, as are we.

Some of us are in afterschool clubs. I won't mention any names, but MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee. Monday: ACLU; Tuesday: art club; Wednesday: key club; Thursday: building with books; anyday: GSA. Which leaves Freitag, and I really don't want to loiter at school on a Friday afternoon.

I'd LURVE to go to Abbie's with you, Hannah!

Ain't got no vagina.
posted by kate at 6:43 PM though the day is young, as are we.

I'd be into that, but I'd be a half hour late at best. If I ran. And knew where cafeteria A was.
Somewhere between May 19 and May 23 we all need to go to abbies. 50% off the entire store. And it's already like $1 for a pair of pants if you know where to look..
posted by Hannah at 8:55 PM though the day is young, as are we.

We's all gotta organize little gatherings after school outside cafeteria A.
posted by Ryan at 8:24 PM though the day is young, as are we.